Monday, December 1, 2008

Love Dare - Day 35: Love Is Accountable

It's nap time here in B manor ... but just for one so far. Miss Belle joined us for the day and she is soundly sleeping (and I think I even heard a tiny snore - don't tell her ultra feminine and oh so very cute mommy!!), Hattie does not nap unless she's on death's doorstep, Hubbs has today off (which is not necessarily a good thing, but I am reaping the benefits! What the enemy intended for bad ... and all that!) and he took Sophie for her shots - Bless BOTH of their hearts! - so it is quiet here for a minute! And a quiet minute, I will take anytime! That being said, I am gonna jump on in for today's Love Dare ...

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." - Prov. 15:22

Have you ever been to Sequoia National park - I have not, but I have seen pictures. Anyhoo, these trees are some of the most resilient trees in the world. They survive all manner of storm, lightening and fires and live on. They get their strength from their root system. I recently learned (from the Love Dare book!) that these trees share their roots with other sequoia trees. Beneath the ground the roots of several individual trees join together to form a strong and lasting system of sustenance. The trees, it would seem, are all accountable for each other.

There is a lot to learn from these trees - a lot that can be applied to our marriages. A couple facing a problem on their own can grow weak and eventually the root of their marriage can become compromised. But a couple with a network of other married couples can often find comfort, solace and support there. And, they can dramatically increase their chances of survival.

When Hubbs and I were dating, we sought solid counsel and accountability from strong Christian friends in healthy marriages. Their advice and love was such a Blessing to us and such a comfort in our young marriage. Sadly, when we moved here, we left many of those friends behind - we still have the friendships but the closeness, that is so helpful in an accountability partner, was left behind. We have made many wonderful friends here - that we would not trade for anything in the world! - but have yet to establish an accountability system. After reading the book today, I am reminded how very much we need that.

We are Blessed with a very strong marriage. Our lives and our bond together are rooted in Christ, and therefor we are on solid ground. However, when faced with a challenge (as we are now - details not necessary), even the best marriages can benefit from a support system!

Everyone needs wise counsel through life, and the wise people are the ones who seek it out. I mean, think about it, why go through life making mistake after mistake when you can learn form others who have been there, done that? Makes sense to me! We would have to be fools to not seek advice, and even bigger fools to ignore help when it is offered. We do have to be careful, though, of where we get that counsel. Which is another reason that having a support system in place BEFORE the trouble starts is wise. The guy at work with all of the advice may seem to know a whole lot, but where is he getting his knowledge? We need to really KNOW the people who we are letting in on our most intimate of relationships.

I pray that you have a strong union and that, if you don't already have one, you can find a strong Bible believing mentor to look to (or a few people to trust in). However, if your marriage is in trouble, may I encourage you to seek help from a pastor, a strong Christian friend or a Bible based counselor as soon as possible. Isn't your marriage worth every effort it takes? I believe it is!

Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Note that it said to find someone who will be "honest and loving" with you. A "yes man" is NOT what you need. This is gonna take someone who will give it to you straight and keep you in line, not someone who is gonna give you an excuse to give up. Be strong, and find a strong mentor. I am praying for you!!!

See ya tomorrow!

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