God has been using a song to pierce my heart lately. As I was listening to it play the other day, and even familiar enough with the lyrics to sing along, I began to REALLY hear the words. And I found myself in tears with my hands in the air and knees to the ground in worship. Woah.
And for the last few days this music has become my obsession. I hear it in my head all day long. And I must be singing it aloud because I heard Sophie humming it this morning. **happy face** But as I have pondered over the words, I have come to a place of realization that has just slammed me in the face and altered the way I pray.
See, God is showing me how many times I say "I need me more Jesus" or "Jesus I need more of You" or "More YOU Lord, more You". But now I am seeing that, truly, if ANYONE is lacking in this relationship, it sure as shootin aint Him!!! So, I guess that means it's me.
The first lines of the song say:
Yeah ... that.
Maybe I need to change my prayer to "I need me more Becky Jo ... Becky Jo in SEARCH of You Jesus. In relentless pursuit of Your will. More Becky Jo, face down at the foot of Your cross. More Becky Jo LOVING You ... and loving others LIKE you. More Becky Jo soaking in the Word and living it out. More Becky Jo chasing after Your will, Your heart, Your presence, YOU! More me seeking to be LESS me and more of YOU. More You IN me ... less me, more You."
And, maybe, if that WAS my prayer, maybe the "I need more Jesus" prayer would be more of an "I need more Jesus IN me" and less of an "I need more Jesus FOR me" prayer.
Because, really, he IS already all I need. But think of how He could use me, what He could do through me ... through ALL of us ... if I (we) were all HE needs me (us) to be.
And, oh yes, I want to be used by Him.
Use me here Lord, USE ME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!