Sunday, October 26, 2008

Love Dare - Day 8: Love Is Not Jealous

So, did you make your list yesterday? I hope that your Happy list was longer than you other. If not, please know that I am praying for you and that if you continue to focus on the positive attributes of your mate, you will most likely find more to concentrate on. Funny thing about looking for the positive ... we usually find it. Be warned, it works the other way as well.

And now, we begin our second week...

"Love is as strong as death, it's jealousy as unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire." - Song Of Solomon 8:6

Jealousy is a very strong emotion. It is, in fact, one of THE strongest emotions that we can know. I think that is because jealousy happens when we have a passion for something.

It comes in two forms, one is a legitimate jealousy based on love. This occurs when we are jealous FOR someone. It is the kind of jealousy that God has for us. He wants to be our first love and He wants us to BENEFIT from that relationship. He has so much to give us, but we have to choose HIM to get it.

Legitimate jealousy also happens when there is infidelity in a marriage. The cheated upon spouse has every right to be jealous, because he/she is jealous FOR his spouse, not of them.

The other form of jealousy is illegitimate. This is when we are jealous OF someone else. We want what they have. This type is based on our own selfishness. When we cannot find happiness or satisfaction in what we have, but live our lives wanting what someone else has. Nothing good can come from this type of jealousy.

If there is illegitimate jealousy within a marriage, it can not be good. When you married, you agreed to be your spouse's biggest supporter. Their joys became yours and their heartaches yours as well. And, well, you can't pick and choose in this area.

If your spouse's joys cause you to wish that they were yours, there is a problem. So, maybe the wife gets to go out with friends while hubby stays home with the kids. Or maybe Hubby gets a promotion at work and now makes lots of money. These, and many other scenarios, can cause big problems at home - IF YOU LET THEM!!! So, how do we NOT let them?

This is where that "what's yours is mine, what's mine is yours" part of your promise comes into play. Rather than looking at it as "hubby getting all the glory", look at it as "Hubby must be amazing at what he does, look at his success!" and take some pride in him!!! And hubby, instead of being jealous at the fact that she is out with the girls, see it as time for her to be refreshed so that she can bring even more to the relationship. It is all in the perspective. All in the way you choose to see it!

Today's Dare

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

I realize that some of these assignments are not as easy or as fun as others, but we are making our marriages stronger day by day. I believe in you and know that you can do this!!!

Have a Blessed day, and see ya tomorrow!

2 of ya left some love:

Becky said...

I am so proud of you for sticking to this and for all the encouraging and admonishing words of wisdom.

Fran said...

LOVING these. Hope you have a good Monday my sweet friend.

I love ya!