First off, let me assure you that I will not just be writing about this journey ... I will also be posting gratuitous cute pictures of my children ...
Like this one of Hattie ... too bad she is so anti-social
OK ... now ... where was I?
I started a new Bible study tonight. Well ... OK ... I RE-started a (less than) new Bible study tonight. Yes, one more thing I didn't finish last time around. (ahem ... )
The study is Made To Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. And, y'all, so good. I kinda rushed through it last time and missed a lot. This time around, I want to really pay attention and see what God has for me there. And, oh, He is already meeting me in those pages ... and we are on like page 3 or something. He is so faithful!
In the first video, she talked about switching your mindset from "deprived" to "empowered" and learning to crave GOD and not food. She also - and this is what I did not get last time - talked about how indulgence is, by definition, taking unrestrained pleasure in something. And when we throw restraint out the window in regards to anything but our worship of HIM, we are allowing that "thing" (in this case, food) to wage a war in ourselves. As a result, we end up feeling defeated, discouraged and disabled.
Y'all! God girls are not meant for defeat! We are made for more. We are made for HIM!!!!
So, here is what I took away from this:
Does food wage a war against my soul? If I choose to find comfort in it, to turn to it and to use it instead of seeking HIM, yes. If it leaves me feeling angry at myself, yes. If it takes my eyes and heart off of Him, yes. Because, first and foremost, I am a Jesus Girl ... and I am meant for more.
Yesterday I wrote in my prayer journal "Father, show me how to love YOU enough to love me more". And, see, that is my struggle. I love Him. I do. I love Him more than ANYTHING in my life. But how can I say I love Him and not love myself in return? HE loved me enough to die for me? Should I not love myself enough to take care of me? I want to live my life to His glory and that means giving Him every area of my life, including this journey. I have come too far with Him to let myself not be all He has made me to be - and He has made me for more than this struggle. He has made me for more than the defeat of deprivation ... He has made me for EMPOWERMENT.
I can look at that cookie (ya knew it would come back to a cookie, didn't ya?) and whine and ask "why do I have to be deprived?" Or I can look at that cookie and know that He has empowered me to make a better choice for myself.
Now, I will eat a cookie here and there ... cause, y'all, it's a COOKIE! But, I will not let that cookie have more power over me than it deserves. I am meant for more.
Can I get an AMEN??!!