Friday, November 21, 2008

Love Dare - Day 26: Love is Responsible

OK, I know that I told ya yesterday was hard ... and, um, so is today. I know, two hard days in a row.... I am sorry. It is all my fault. Although I did not write the dare, I should have read ahead and told you that it WOULD get hard ... I take full responsibility. I am truly sorry.

"When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things." - Romans 2:1

Today is about taking responsibility for the things you do wrong. Yesterday was about learning to truly forgive, today is about knowing when to admit you are wrong and ask for forgiveness yourself.

Society does not lend itself well to admitting we are wrong. Politicians sling mud (we know that all to well ... don't even get me started!!!) and cast the blame on everyone BUT themselves. Celebrities blame the press when they drive with children on their laps, drive drunk, or, simply drive people crazy! Ads for debt consolidation agencies tell us it is not our faults ... Ummmm, HELLO?!?!?! I didn't see President Bush swiping your card at McDonald's!!!! Or mine for that matter!

Can I tell you how very MUCH God is convicting me, humbling me and shaping me through this study. And, just for future reference, doing the Love Dare, Beth Moore's Breaking Free AND Max Lucado's Jesus study all at the same time can do a Holy number on the image you see in the mirror. Truly, that much Truth ... WOW! I do not think I have spent this much time on my knees since ... well EVER!!!!

Just wanted you to know, if this is denting your ego and exposing ginormous spots in your conscience in need of cleansing, you are soooooooooooooooo not alone!

Anyhoo - Yes, it easy to cast the blame. In fact, we are TRAINED to cast the blame from a very early age. "My dog ate my homework", "my alarm didn't go off", "I didn't realize ...", "you never told me ...", the list goes on and on and on ...

Truth is, we are selfish. WE ARE HUMAN!!! We make mistakes, we all do, it is in our very nature (thank you, again, Adam and Eve!!!), and owning up to those mistakes goes against our nature. It is hard to do. But, it MUST be done. When we come to Jesus we repent of our sins and accept His mercy. But it does not end there, we sin every day, so we must repent every day.

And I am not talking about a blanket "sorry God" meant to cover all errors, I am talking about asking God to SHOW you your sins and then truly laying them at the foot of the cross and begging Him to teach you a lesson and show you the way to go! It is hard, but it is necessary. We will never be perfect, but living lives of righteousness means consistently striving to be more like Him. Not settling with where we are now, but continuously moving forward to where He is! The fruits of our labor will be seen, not on this earth, but in His presence as we enter the gates of Heaven. And, if that is not something to strive for, well, I do not know what is!

Now, I bet you could write a list of 10 things your spouse did, just today, that frustrated you. But, if I asked you to write a list of what YOU did to frustrate them, could you. No, really, think hard. You KNOW there is at least 10 things there as well. So, how do you make up for those things and take responsibility for our actions. YOU OWN IT!!!

Here is an example ... and, no, I am not proud!

Yesterday morning was a busy one for me - getting Hattie off to school, Bible Study, Love Dare, Sophie, etc... So, when I woke up, I immediately prayed for peace. Hubby and I prayed over each other as we was leaving for work (I was still in bed) and, again, I prayed for peace. Then I asked Hubbs what time it was ... let's just say it was much later than I had wanted to get up. Before I had even set one foot on the floor I was throwing a fit and BLAMING MY MAN for not waking me up so I could get ready! WHAT?!?!?! Is that not an ALARM CLOCK on my side of the bed?!?!?! And, that, dear friends, is how I sent him off for the day.

As soon as that garage door closed I felt the weight of conviction. I was W.R.O.N.G. and the first time I talked to Hubbs on the phone, I admitted it, I begged his forgiveness and he was so kind to look past my blame and apologize to me for forgetting that it was Thursday and that I had to be up early. OUCH! Have I really been so dad-blamed hard on him that he is sorry for MY mistakes.

Then, this morning, I opened my little Love Dare book and read about responsibility ...

Yeah, I think I better call him and apologize again.

So, what do you need to call your spouse about today?


TODAY'S DARE
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept is by receiving it as counsel.

Note that it said "no matter how they respond". You are doing this for them, not your own justification. Do not expect them to jump to your arms blessing you with forgiveness. If they do, take it as a gift. If they don't, take it as a lesson and keep on taking the responsibility until they believe you are sincere!

I am praying for you!!! You can do it!

See ya tomorrow!

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