Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Answers

So, after yesterday's post Kelli asked how the girls get along. I then realized that, while many of you three readers know the scoop, the other 1.3 of you do not know all of it. SO, for those of you who have not been here since the beginning (or know me IRL), here is the Bug's story:

Sophie is, indeed, a twin. Her birth parents chose to parent one of the children and make an adoption plan for the other. I know that this does not sound conventional and many people are not a fan of this choice. And, I admit, I was not at first either and the reason we agreed to be linked to this family was in the hopes that they would change their mind and decide to let us adopt BOTH of the babies.

And then I got to know Kim.

Kim is a great lady. She has made some unfortunate choices and feels badly for the effects that they have had. That is all I am saying about that. So, when she learned she was pregnant, she was determined to do the right thing. And she was VERY excited to become a mom. THEN she learned it was twins. She knew - they both knew - that they could not "do" twins. They had neither the finances or resources to parent two babies. Kim immediately felt that God was using her to be able to Bless a couple who could not have their own child. She prayed hard about the choice and instantly, and consistently, felt peace. She chose Baby A without knowing anything about the twins - gender, size, personality, ANYTHING! And she began to pray that God would tell her who Baby B's parents would be. When she saw our picture, she says, she just knew it was us.

By the time we were close to the birth, I could no longer pray for both babies - because I knew that would hurt Kim - so, I simply prayed for God's will. And this is was what we received, so I have to feel that it was in His plan.

So, about the girls ...
They are very similar in appearance. Seeing them in person, you can see the differences and you can tell them apart easily. Their mouths are the biggest difference - they have similar smiles, but the mouths are shaped differently. And Sophie has a bigger smile in that she smile with her ENTIRE BEING, whereas Breauna is more reserved. Not that that is a bad thing at all, I am just partial to Soph!!!

They also have similar mannerisms. They both like to squeal - for no apparent reason! - loudly, drum on the table, point at random things and touch people's faces. They both shake their feet when they are excited. And they both like to eat "puffs".

They completely enjoyed studying each other. I have seen Sophie with other children and this was different. It was like they were trying to remember where they knew each other from. They would hold hands and laugh together and touch each other's face and just LOOK at each other. It was so sweet, and sad at the same time. Like they SHOULD be together and can't figure out why they are not. Bittersweet, I am telling ya. I had to fight not to cry.

All in all, we had a good time. It is so rewarding to see Kim love on Sophie and to be able to take pictures for Sophie to see later. For her to SEE the love in her Mama Kim's eyes and know that the choice was made for SOPHIE to have a life that she deserved. It was not made for Kim's convenience, but for Sophie's benefit.

And we were Blessed in the mean time.

If you have any questions, please ask. I will do my best to answer them. I know that the situation is not conventional, and in some eyes, is questionable. But Kim felt God's leading, we are completely Blessed (as Kim says, she is) to be a part of it all and the girls seem to be happy and healthy through it all. I know that some may not understand, but ours is not to reason why. Ours is just to TRUST God's plan.

3 of ya left some love:

Rebekah said...

Holy Moly, that's a doosey! I didn't know that Sophie was a twin.

If there's one thing this process has taught me, it's to reserve ALL judgment. I have found this to be a handy life-lesson in ALL situations. At first read, the thought of twins being separated sounds terrible...but I also have no idea what it's like to be in b.mom's shoes. I'm sure she did what she felt in her heart was best for their family and the girls. The beauty of it, is that you have an incredible little girl that lights up this blog (and I'm sure your life). For that, how could anyone find fault?

I'm sure the challenge will come as she grows. I can't imagine a twin not wanting to have a relationship with her sister! But from what I read, your family is the perfect blend of love and encouragement. I'm sure you'll parent that perfectly :)

Aron, Erica, & Isabelle said...

It's also soooo amazing that both you and Kim are giving these girls the opportunity to still know, love, and enjoy each other - even if they don't live in the same household.

There are women/families who have chosen to bury these types of things to "protect" everyone involved. In the end, it leaves secrets and confusion for the children once they're grown. But I believe God is using your humble obedience to heal each of the families involved and create utter beauty from brokeness.
I am so proud and impressed by you!!

Kelli said...

I'm so touched at how open you are to God's will. He is blessing you and blessing me for knowing you!

Sophie has 2 amazing Moms!