Friday, July 24, 2009

Bring It On

In a few short hours I will be participating in a mock mini-triathlon: 300 meter swim, 14 mile bike ride and 5K run. This is in preparation for the actual event, happening next week. I am both excited and scared-outta-my-ever-lovin-mind, all at the same time. I have been training for this for a while now, but still feel ill prepared. And yet, there is a part of me, way down deep, that is screamin loud into the night "BRING IT ON"!!!

'Cause, that part, it is insane!

Ya see, in a few short hours I will ALSO be turning another year older.

I will be 41.

And, in these 41 years, I have NEVER been one to swim for anything other than pleasure, ride a bike - AT ALL or run - unless something was chasing me. In short, I have spent these 41 years avoiding, at any and every cost, any form of athleticism at ALL!

BUT, a few months ago, I looked at my two little girls.

I saw Hattie, five years old and a tiny, petite, slim little frame. She doesn't eat much. She would rather read a book than run and play - unless she is outside and there is dirt and/or water involved. She is a blue eyed blond with fair skin and straight hair. She is shy until she is used to you and will always prefer to be out of the limelight. She is utterly beautiful, inside and out.

And, I saw Sophie, one year old with a fuller, more athletic frame. She LOVES food, loves to move and will dance even if there is no music to be heard ... and LOOK OUT if there IS music! She is the life of the party, lights up any room and enjoys every ounce of attention that she can get. She is an olive skinned, curly headed brunette with deep brown eyes. And SHE is is utterly beautiful inside and out.

These two little lights of my life could not possibly be more different.

And, simply because they are girls, there will always be the tendency to compare.

I also took a look in the mirror ... a good look long look. Something I just do not do very often at ALL!

Because, I know ALL about that tendency to compare. And, in my own eyes, I always seem to come up short - leading to a long standing, very poor self image.

And, that very day I realized that there is no way that I can ever teach my oh-so-opposite little girls to like THEMSELVES until I can learn to like MY self.

And, thus began my journey ...

Now, I realize that I am just never gonna be a small, petite kinda girl. I will never be skinny - but that does not mean I will never be HEALTHY. And that doesn't mean I can never LIKE myself.

So, I started working out with Jillian Michaels ... the Shred. I hurt in places I had never even know about before. But, in a way, it felt good ... really good.

So, I kept going.

And then I got the invitation to do this triathlon.

I was pretty sure it was a joke, that they had never REALLY intended for me to actually DO the thing, but I was intrigued. So I started training. I started living and breathing fitness ... and I started feeling so much better!

Better physically and better mentally.

I started to see that maybe I COULD do this thing. Maybe I WAS able to be a physically fit person ... and I started to actually LIKE myself.

In the last few weeks I have found myself with shin splints that are KILLIN me and threatening to keep me from running in the triathlon. BUT, I have chosen to continue - because, even if I walk, or CRAWL, that last leg of the race, I WILL finish this race.

I WILL.

I KNOW that this is the body that God has Blessed me with. THIS is my temple to host the Spirit that lives within me. This is the only chance I will ever have to give God my very best.

And THAT is what I intend to do ... give HIM my best.

And, at the same time, give my girls someone that they can look up to, learn to love themselves from AND have fun with, play with and run around with. For a LONG, LONG time.

And, give my husband both the woman he fell in love with and the woman that he deserves.

And, that is the best that I can do.

Psalm 45:11 tells me that the King is enthralled with my beauty.

The KING!

And, really, who am I to disagree with the King?!

So, tomorrow I will turn a year older ... but, then again, isn't it just the first day of the rest of my life?

6 of ya left some love:

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Girl, I am so impressed with you. Seriously.

As I lose weight, one of the things I look forward to is being more active, yes, even running one day! In the meantime, I'll be sure to cheer you on.

sara said...

You go girl!!!

I am so excited for you. I know it will be hard but the feeling of accomplishment you will have at the end will be amazing!!

Can't wait to hear!

and by the way....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Meeghan said...

way to go girl...that is an incredible achievement

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Becky Jo - I am so proud of your committment! Always remember that God made us unique and He made us in His image. We are beautiful in Him, not matter what.

Happy birthday and good luck on the marathon!

j said...

Beautiful post...spoken with so much heart and truth. You too RS...are utterly beautiful from the inside out. I am very proud of you...wish I could be competing next to you next week. But I will be praying for all of you triathletes and cheering you on. Happy 25th Birthday! :)

Kelli said...

Well said! I know you can do this! Hopefully we'll see you Tuesday at Stoney for our last big training then rest, light workouts and lots of pasta on Friday!