Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Love Dare - Day 31: Love and Marriage

Today is an extension of yesterday's dare - in which we discussed unity in a marriage. Today we will look at one relationship that can hinder the marital unity, often without anyone even knowing it is happening!

"A man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." - Genesis 2:24

Marriage is designed to be the one earthly relationship that is treasured above all others. We are to center our lives around our spouse - and center THAT relationship on God. But, all too often, going from the "honor your father and mother" stage to the "honor your husband/wife" stage can be a difficult transition. We have loved our parents our whole lives (I know that not everyone was Blessed with this kind of childhood, and I apologize if I am leaving anyone out or bringing up old hurts.), and we have been taught to obey them and respect their opinion. Now, all of a sudden, we have a spouse to take into consideration. We have to let a new person into the mix.

There is a reason that the Bible talks about leaving your father and mother and cleaving to your spouse. It does not mean just leaving the home, nor is it so drastic that it speaks of leaving that relationship completely. Rather, it is finding a middle ground. One relationship is altered as a new one begins. Our parents still deserve our honor and respect, but now there is a spouse to be the one to lean on, grow with, make decisions with and honor. One is different, one is new.

Remember that our marriages are patterned after the relationship between the church and Jesus. Husbands are called to love their wives like their own flesh, and wives are called to respect their husbands. Meaning that, after the Lord, the spouse is the first priority.

Now, and this is the tough part, this is not just an adjustment that the newlyweds have to make. Their parents have to find a new balance too. And that can be the toughest adjustment of all. Letting someone else take priority in your child's life can be threatening as well as sad. If a parent is not prepared for that transition it can cause trouble in the marriage. And we are the ones left to face the fallout.

It is for this reason that we must strive even harder to find the balance and RESPECTFULLY implement that balance on every relationship. We can still respect and honor our parents without following their every direction and suggestion to the detriment of our marriage.

It is all about balance!


Is there a "leaving" issue you have not been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

I realize that this - especially if one sided - can be extremely difficult. There is likely to be rejection of this idea from many sides. Just remember, if this is what God designed our marriages to be, He will be on your side as you strive to follow His will.

I am praying for you!!

See ya tomorrow!

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