Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Love Dare - Day 4: Love Is Thoughtful

Well, my back is feeling much better today, still hobbling around and can hardly lift my Sophie Bug, but I can tell I am getting better. Hubbs stayed home from work today to help me out, and I am so very grateful that he did. I could not have done this day without him.

He had to make a grocery run tonight and I told him what I had planned to get him for my "I was thinking of you gift" - even gave him a coupon for it. Poor guy had to buy it himself. And he was so busy getting his gift that he forgot to get something for me.... But since he stayed home and waited on me hand and foot, I don't guess I better complain!!!

How was your day? What did you get for your love? How did it go over? C'mon, I want to know!!!!! PLEASE comment!

And now for day 4 ...

How precious also are your thoughts to me ... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. - Psalm 139: 17-18

Ahhh, remember when you first fell in love and the other person was the only thing you could think of? Remember how you got distracted at work, or missed your freeway exit because your mind was on them, or when you would find yourself staring off into space with a silly grin on your face? Wasn't it great?

Back then, didn't you hang on ever word he/she said? Didn't you spend every moment possible with that person? Didn't you do special little things to let him/her know that you loved 'em?

So, what happened?

I can tell you what happened ... it's called LIFE! You got married and the conquest was finished. Girls you had your man, and men you had your prize. Nothing left to "win", so you went back to life. Don't feel bad, we all did.

But that is not the only thing that comes between husbands and wives where thoughtfulness is concerned. You see, men and women are different. I know, news flash, huh? But they THINK and process things differently and if we don't try to understand where our spouse is coming from a wedge can come between us. A BIG wedge.

See, men tend to focus on one thing and kinda space the rest of the world out. We girls see that and think that they are ignoring us or (like me) mad at us. Men also tend to internalize things and so when there is something on their mind that may not be positive (i.e. budgets, work troubles, etc...) they seem to hold it in and then the wife assumes that the unhappiness - cause it shows!!! - is their fault.

Women, on the other hand, talk ... in riddles. They say what they mean without saying what they mean. Know what I mean? Yeah, that's what I mean. They assume that the hubby can read between the lines and figure out what they are trying to say, and then when he can't they get all hurt cause he "doesn't understand me!" We think we are being clear, but let's face it ... sometimes we just aren't.

So, what do we do with all of this?

We have to TRY to be thoughtful. Not just doing what needs to be done but going a step beyond to show that the other person, and their feelings, matter. Really listen when they are talking and if your don't understand, ASK. And if he/she asks, don;t get angry, explain. It is not all that hard, it just takes some effort. And that is where day 4 comes in ...

Today's Dare
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Good luck, and see ya tomorrow!!

1 of ya left some love:

Becky said...

I'm glad your back feels better and that you are still truckin' along with these dares. I was going to join you on this quest but we express our love daily in all the many things we do throughout the day.

My Love calls me from work on his lunch break every day... he is my oasis.