Wednesday, October 1, 2008

At Which Point They All Ran Away Screaming "T.M.I.!!!!"

If you are here looking for my Breast Cancer 3Day post, you will have to wait 'til tomorrow. I am here today to do some venting. Oh, yes I am.

And if you are of the male persuasion, I bid you LOOK AWAY NOW!!!!!!

Seriously, ya gotta go.

RUN ... NOW!

We'll wait.

OK, don't say I didn't warn ya.

All righty ladies (and you stubborn men, who are about to run screaming "T.M.I.!!!" at the top of your manly lungs!!!), yesterday I made a mistake of epic proportions. A mistake that someone, namely my hubby, shoulda caught ahead of time. But, seein' as how he IS a man, he cannot be held accountable.

I made two appointments for the same day. Two medical type appointments. The more pleasant of the two being the evening visit to the dentist. And, please note that I - the "white knuckle, fear of all fears (except birds), kicking and screaming, once avoided it for FIVE YEARS, that's how much I loath the dentist" girl - said "pleasant" and "dentist" in the same sentence. Which should be a forewarning to the nature of the first appointment....

Oh yes ladies, I saw THAT doctor first thing yesterday morning. And I can hear ya moaning from here.

So, yeah, I started my day explaining - AGAIN - why a woman of my age does not get the regular visits from Aunt Flo. Not that I was not a popular stop on her tour. In fact, I believe I may have been one of her all time favorite places to visit. Because her visits were L.O.N.G.! Long and eventful. In fact, I don't think that there was a single visit (including the very first "getting to know you" visit - that came AT SUMMER CAMP!!!!!!) that lasted less than ten days. And, yes, I did say TEN DAYS!!!! And that was when I was on the fun pill to keep them regular and maintainable. Oh, yeah, I was that girl!!! The one who missed AT LEAST one day of school a month from 7th grade through my Junior year because I could not go an entire hour without, "ya know", through TWO LAYERS OF PROTECTION!!!!

Suck-O!!!!!

And then I had to explain, AGAIN, how it is that I have a four year old and a one year old in the midst of all of this. Because, apparently, the education process of SOME medical schools does not account for adoption.

Or manners.

Now, to be fair, I have friends and relatives in the medical profession who are MORE thank wise and polite.I'm just sayin' ... THESE brainiacs - not so much!

And THEN I had to endure one of those "talk to ya like you're sittin' at Starbucks, when you're actually DOWN THERE" kinda doctors. Joy of Joys!

And THEN - 'cause, ya know, all that wasn't enough - THEN, she asked about my WEIGHT! Seriously. COME ON!!!!

And after all that, I had to take a trip to the dentist.

Did I mention I love the dentist?

Yeah, I thought so.

So, gentlemen, you who were too stubborn to stop reading when I told you to, the next time a girl says "run away", I bet you'll be more inclined to listen, huh?

Can't say I didn't warn ya!

Have a great day.

And, by the way, I am now on my way BACK to the doctor's office for blood work.

And the hits just keep on comin'!

5 of ya left some love:

Kelli said...

Oh yuck.

Hopefully today is better.

Can you email me at thefourdexters@yahoo.com. The email I have for you got bounced back. Then I'll send you an email from my "real" email- the one I posted is the one I use for spam! LOL!

Fran said...

yuck, ick, yuck, ick. I know exactly what you are talking about and found me a remedy over a year ago that I won't dare comment about here....you can always email me if you want. :)

Love ya!
Fran

j said...

Oh girl! You poor thing...At least you didn't freshen up ahead of time with a washcloth (that had already been used to take makeup and glitter off of one's face)...Ever hear that story? Wew! Had that happened, your Doctor would have probably kept ya there ALL day, pleased with the sparkly show! :)

Some things in life are just not fair, huh? I love ya!

Kate said...

haa haa haa haa haa
wooo...I was cracking up so hard...at the same time attempting to keep the others at this coffee shop from reading my computer screen. I'm way too modest! I'm not a fan either...I go uhhh...every 36 years. I checked out ok once and I think I'll go again when I am 72. It is much too difficult to explain that there is actually someone my age in this universe that does not engage in ummm the wrong doing of singleness...haa haa. I do think I blogged about it once as well. lol Hope today is better for ya.
Weight!?!?!?! Did you offer advice to the doctor...haa haa haa.
love ya girly

The B's said...

No matter how much we HATE that doctore we MUST go once a year to make sure we do not have the big C. I have a friend who's wife was a surgical nurse and had NEVER been to one of the doctors. She's dead now and it all could have been prevented with a visit to the doctor once a year.