Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Flyin' By The Seat Of My Drawers!!!


Girlfriends (and guy friends as well!!), can you say hectic? HECTIC! I knew ya could!
Well, hectic is the word of he day around here... and possibly the WEEK. And the thing is, I have virtually nothing on the calender this week so I cannot tell you why. I just know that I feel like a pinball and I have not stopped bouncing for days.

Hattie Grace is finishing up with school soon ... but it cannot be soon enough. We started the year off getting her up at 6:30ish so she would not be rushed for the bus at 8am. She does not do well with the rushing!!! We started with good intentions and they have slowly dwindled. At this point we are lucky if we have her up and moving by around 7:10. Monday we all slept in and I woke up at 7:30! Let the RUSH begin!!!
Then Monday afternoon she had a hearing screening. They had 'em at school earlier in the year but our girl was no cooperat-o. They called us to schedule a second one and it was Monday. No go again though 'cause her ears are stuffed full of wax! Their solution was to give me some drops and have her lay still (lie still? Lay ... Lie ...IDK) for 10 minutes then flush out her ear.
This is just messed up on so many levels. First off, Hattie, still for 10 minutes? TEN MINUTES?!?!?! I'm sorry have you met my child? Let me introduce you - Mr. Insane Hearing Screening Dude, meet Hurricane Hattie. She is a force of nature. One that does not quiet for more than 5 seconds at a time and that is just the EYE OF THE STORM!!!!!

Secondly - we are talking about her ears here. Hattie has many issues with doctors because of all of the stuff we had to deal with and have checked and corrected when she came to us. Many, many visits to the nice people who had us hold her down so that they could do stuff like take her blood to check for anemia (nope, just malnourished), check unmentionable parts of her tiny anatomy for abuse (nope, just not ever cleaned so the diaper rash had become a RAGING infection!), give her her shots all over again because no one - including her previous doctor - had any record of what she had had, if ANY, and the biggie - getting stuff dug out of her ears. And that is the one that we had to do several times, so that is the one that she hates the most. To the point of not wanting anyone even touching her ears. She won't even let me tuck her hair behind her ears when she eats!

Clearly, she is sensitive about her ears.

So, how are we supposed to A - hold her down long enough to get the drops in her ears, much less long enough for them to do the job, or B - keep her down and calm long enough to use a bulby thing to flush the ears out? And if we can manage to do all of that, how are we supposed to pay all of the therapy bills later in life? 'Cause I am telling you, we will ALL need the therapy!

Any ideas on this? A little help, please?

So that was Monday. Tuesday was fun too. Speech therapy went awry (which has never happened before!) and I had to go save Hattie - or Ms. Jeanie, not sure which one was more in need of the saving. And that made for a hectic ride home. Which had Sophie all worked up by the end, so she did not nap. Which made us both grumpy! Also, yesterday was an award ceremony (which I learned about in the middle of the therapy fiasco!) for the high school and Chelsea (lovely niece) was up for many awards, including a surprise scholarship from the school. YAY!!! So, that was fun. AND I went all by myself, with no kids and so, it was QUIET!!!!!!!! Even when the room broke out into a standing ovation for the kid who got an award - and free ride worth over 400,000 DOLLARS - to West Point! Go that kid who's name I do not know!

ALSO, Sunday Pastor Eric gave a sermon that STILL has me reeling. All about seeing, acknowledging and accepting your worth to God. This is a huge pit for me. I know that self deprecation is just as big a sin as pride ('cause it's all focused on "me"), but I seriously struggle with this. In HUGE WAYS! Needless to say, I am still on my face over that one. Then this morning I watched my PBFF Beth Moore on Life Today and she was talking about addiction and Godly and UN-godly assistance. It is hard to explain what all she said but the big line was this:

"When we start using (or eating, shopping, sex-ing,...SELF DEPRECATION... etc....), we stop coping."

So, basically when we start addictive behaviours we move away from coming to grips and dealing with the pain that brought us there. And then there is the "oh, you have been through so much. Who wouldn't fall into ...." type comfort that is really no comfort or help at all. We need the kind of comfort - and assistance - that says "yes, I know" and then forces you to DEAL WITH IT!!!!!
So, in other words, my telling myself all along that "such and such, or this and that has happened to me so who WOULDN'T have body issues ... I mean, just look at my genes (bio father side, not mom!) and a few of the boyfriends I have had", is really doing NOTHING to get me to face the issue. And, I cannot tell you how badly I want to face it, deal with it and put it behind me. I really do.
So here is where I start facing it. And start praying to see the person in the mirror through the eyes of the One who created her. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Now, I just need to KNOW it!

And I need to know it so I can pass on the same positive thinking to my girls. So that they can have healthy, GODLY self images. So they can see from the beginning how BEAUTIFUL they are to Him (and to me).

Please pray for me on this one. Thank you!
That is all for now.
Blog at ya later!

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