Then Sings My Soul - If You Want Me To

Four years ago this week my sweet, beautiful, bestest friend in the whole wide world, Paula passed away. And my world still rocks. Although it started out as a knock-you-off-your-feet-and-down-to-your-knees kinda rock that was the hardest thing I have ever had to recover from, it has become a rock-you-in-the-arms-of-Jesus-till-you-fall-asleep-in-the-peace-of-knowing-she-is-THERE kinda rock. Both were unfathomable to me four years and 1 month ago. Now, I am Blessed by knowing that God is there through ALL kinds of rocking.

Paula was diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it - the double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and hours and hours and HOURS of prayer - and beat it. Just in time to look so beautiful for my wedding I was a teensy bit jealous. But I came back from my honeymoon to learn that the cancer had come back in her bones. Many people would have given up. But Paula was a mommy (her girls were one and three when diagnosed, four and six when she died), and so she fought it HARD. The chemo wore down her defenses and she contracted valley fever. And that is what, in the end, took her away from us.

There was one song that held us up through it all - many songs made the journey easier (and sometimes even "fun-er") - but one song lifted us to His throne. In the very beginning Paula prayed that if she was gonna have this thing, God had better "use the tar out of it"!! She wanted to make a statement with the cancer - a statement about faith, blessings and HIM. She wanted her life to say that she was HIS - no matter what and even if she died, she KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was gonna LIVE. And, by golly, she was taking as many people with her as she possibly could.

I am here to tell you that she lived this out LOUD!!!!

I remember that last week in the hospital we played music in her room 24/7 - worship music. Just the way she wanted. We had worship teams come and do some live praising at the foot of her bed. We sang out loud to the favorites on the various CD's and, in the end, we sang her home with a group of loved ones and a guitar. Her death was one of the most precious and beautiful things I have ever experienced. I held her sweet bald head in my arms as she walked into Heaven and I felt her last breath against my wet cheek. I remember every moment of it like it was happening today. And I am more thankful for those moments that you will ever imagine.

I found a version of this song that is lovely - but I wish I could have found a live version from the CD "Night In Rocketown" - the one with the verse that she is living out today ...

So, when I cross over Jordan, gonna scream, gonna shout,
Gonna look into Your eyes and see
You never let me down
So, take me down the pathway that leads me to YOU
And I will go through the valley,
If You want me to

I love you and I miss you Peanut - me and Jelly both!!
Love,
Butta'

Crazy. Busy. Whoo!

This is VBS week. It is crazy. It is busy. It is constant go-go-go. But it is GOOD!!!

Hattie is finally able to participate. We registered er and I volunteered with the knowledge that we may not last the week. She has never been able to do anything like this before. It is constant transition and movement and following directions. None of her strong points!

Monday, she sprayed Lysol in her hair - homegirl has a thing for Lysol. Don't ask. I have absolutely NO idea! She had a pretty good meltdown about 3/4 of the way through and they had to find me. But, overall, pretty good.

Tuesday, she put soap in her hair (pattern anyone?). She had a minor meltdown, but by the time I got there she had rebounded and she finished the day just fine!

Wednesday, more soap in the hair (but just a little bit!). However, she went potty for them and NO MELTDOWNS!!! AND she did the art project! How cool is that?!?!?!

Thursday, she woke excited to go to church, but I can tell she is tired! No meltdowns - but no art project either. Nothing in the hair (til lunch - pizza at COSTCO before therapy!)!!! She was a bit grumpy at therapy, but no meltdowns there either.

Here is the challenge - I sing this week at church. Steve is not running sound on Sunday, but he has to do it for rehearsal tonight. Which means the girls have to go BACK to church tonight. And since I am also doing special music, we will be there a while. Therefor, late bed times all around. YIKES!! Two sleepy girls, late bedtimes and more VBS tomorrow!

PRAY FOR US!!!!

Also, two wonderful women in my life - V & D - both are fighting cancer. Surgeries this week - V on Monday (stage 3) and D on Friday. I love these ladies. Please pray HARD!!!!

Cancer, it stinks! So not my friend! THAT is why I do the 3day. There is a link to my page on the side bar. I am trying to raise funds. Any help at all is GREAT!!

To My Men

They say that a girl learns what to look for in a man based on her father. If that is true, I had mixed signals in that area.

My mom, as you may know if you have been reading this blog for a while, is an AMAZING woman. She is strong and bright and beautiful. She is wise and carefully makes all choices to the best of her ability and for the good of those around her. However, she did make one BIG mistake at one time in her life. When she married my father. At the time - and this is very hard for me to fathom - she was insecure and thought she could do no better. MAN, was she wrong!!!!! Which can be wonderfully proven by the man who saved her, and became my Daddy.

Now, my father was an abuser. Verbally he was cruel, emotionally he hurt my mom in many ways and left my brother and I with a few scars as well. And he could be abusive in other forms too ... but this is not about him. I am just saying that, had that been my only example of a man, I would not be here today. Not HERE with the man of my dreams and the life I have always dreamed of. Of that I am sure.

But then my Daddy came along. And, by the grace of my HEAVENLY Father, I was given a second chance. And I was completely Blessed. He was the first man that God gifted my life with.

My Daddy is a wonderful man. He can get loud and can growl with the best of the grizzly bears, but really, he is just a big ol' teddy bear. And, for the majority of my life so far, he has been the truest example of Godly love that I know. He rescued my mom, and in turn, rescued Jim and I as well. I know that that could not have been easy. Our father had not been an example of a loyal dad in any way. He would make promises that were not kept, so my brother did not expect much of the promises Daddy made. That damaged their relationship for a long time - and can even still bring up old hurts at times. He was a GOOD dad and could be counted on and did all he could to show us his love. I knew, and KNOW, what a dad is because of him. And I knew that I wanted NOTHING LESS for my children.

I also saw what a husband should be through him. I watched him love my mom into self confidence and strength and pride. I watched him love all of the pain away. But, most importantly, I watched him respect her. I saw him let her go far enough to make a name for herself, trusting that she would always come back. And she always did.

Both as a father and a husband - as a MAN - he set the bar pretty high. I had seen the bad side of a man, and I knew what I didn't want. Fortunately though, I also saw the GOOD side of a man and I knew that I would settle for nothing less. There was one time in my life that I almost fell into the trap of believing I could do no better. But my daddy - and my mom and my brothers - were there to help me see the light. So I kept looking. And I am so glad I did!!!

My mom knew before I did. She told me he would be "the one". I told her she was crazy. Turns out she was right. And I am living out the Blessed proof of her wisdom. Lucky, lucky me!!

My hubby is the other best man I have ever known. I cannot even begin to put into words what that man does to my heart. I TRULY could not have even begun to ask for a better man. That God is GOOD!!!!!!!

He is a man after the heart of God. He is honest, faithful, true and kind. His heart is sooooo stinking good that it scares me at times. And I often - OK, everyday - wonder if I deserve his love. But because of my Heavenly Father's love, and the love of my daddy, I knew good when I found it. And I was not about to let him get away.

Now I live with the assurance that our boys will be good, quality husbands and fathers (if they so choose), because of the example they have been given. And our girls? Let's just say that someday, there will be a couple of men with a LOT to live up to!!!!

Father God, I am so Blessed by the men You have put in my life. I truly could not have asked for more. You have gifted me in ways beyond my imagining with the love of these two men. I thank You for the men that the boys are becoming and I pray for the men that will someday reach the hearts of these two little girls. May they be as Blessed as I have been.

Daddy, I love you and I will always be your little girl. You are the very best thing that ever happened to Mom and one of the best things that ever happened to me. Thank you for living out the love of God and pouring it into the heart of a little girl. And thank you for showing me what a TRUE man should be. Oh, and thank you for saying yes when he asked your permission to marry me!

Farmboy, what can I say? "I love you" does not seem to be even close to enough. But, gooly bob howdy, I surely do love you. And I will FOREVER. Of that I am sure. You are my heart's desire and more than I ever even thought to ask God for. I cannot wait to live out the rest of the adventure with you. At our wedding I chose a song for you and the words are still true:

"I was just thinking how nice it would be to have some to kiss me goodnight.
I was just thinking what I really need is someone to hold me real tight.
I was just thinking of finding somebody that I could mean everything to.
And it's funny you should happen to walk in the room ...
... 'cause I was just thinking of you"

I love you baby. To infinity and beyond. No tag backs!

Picture Perfect Monday - More Beachy Fun

***FATHER'S DAY TRIBUTES ARE TO COME (sorry Honey and Daddy!!)***

Here are some more glances are our day at the beach (mostly of Sophie - Hattie was in the ones from our camera - plus, there were many more good ones, but they had faces of strangers and I didn't have time to edit them out!) for ya!

The REAL First Last Day

So yesterday was Hattie's last day of school ... for real this time!

And, for your viewing pleasure ...
The bus ride:




Saying goodbye to Mrs. Maryann and Mrs. Julie:



And in her cute little hat and eating cake! (these were taken with my cell phone after the battery died on the real camera ... please excuse the poor quality!)



And, just so that Sophie can get her time in too ...

Look who is sleeping in a bed, on her back, without a bouncy seat! Looks like she is finally growing into her sinuses.

Now if we can just get her to sleep ALL NIGHT LONG, she can move into her very own room.
New prayer request!!!!!!!

Fitness on Friday

OK, this week I only lost a pound. I had been at 1.5 ... but then I carbed it up yesterday and went backwards. Ooooppsss!

See, the thing is, I have not written in my food diary at all this week. And that is, for me, a very bad idea. Which leads to my tip for the week.

A food diary.

Of course, this means you have to be honest. You have to write down EVERY SINGLE THING that goes in your mouth. The good, the bad AND the very ugly. It helps keep ya on track. It makes you think about what you are eating - and drinking. If I have to write it down, I have to face that I actually ate what I ate.

Let me tell ya, that has stopped many a teddy graham from passing these lips. Not to mention a few hotdogs, Shrek shaped mac and cheese, gooey and cheesy eggs and bacon (and a LOT of them), chocolate milk, large quantities of soda/pop, french fries and enchiladas with beans ... ALL OF WHICH I HAVE EATEN THIS WEEK! Because I have written nothing down!

Leason learned.

A Day At The Beach

Yesterday was a lovely day here in the land of unpredictable weather! So, we took advantage of said lovely day and headed off to the beach! Oh boy, we had us some summer fun!

First, we hit the park where Sophie enjoyed her first experience on the slide and both girls got in some swing time!





Then, Hattie found her own private "beach" in a puddle under the swing.

It was all well and good ... til she decided to go in head first!

Next, we took some time for a picnic lunch! (Take note of Hattie's wet/muddy head!)




And then, we were off to the beach! Sophie loved the sand and, eventually, the water. (I ran out of space on my card, so I have to wait to get the pics of her in the water from Cheri) Hattie LOVED it all - the sand, the water, the mud ... all of it!! She was in her element!






I wish I had not run out of space, because the scene when Hattie had to leave ... well, let's just say I would have had enough ammo for ALL of her teen years!

But it was a good day. Thank you Lord!

Up On The Roof

So, Monday was spent trying to get someone to our house to fix the roof. Seems there was quite a bit of storm damage in our area - some people did not get their power back on til Tuesday!!! So, needless to say the roof dudes were just a tad busy. So, we finally got a call around 7PM and they were gonna come over. 'Cause more rain was coming that night. And seeing as how we were looking at bare plywood up there, and they did NOT want to cover water damage in our home as well, they were gonna at least patch it, by golly!!!

They got here around 8:30 and by that time the rain had begun AND it was getting dark. But they climbed up there anyway! So, now I have men with flashlights, metal hammers and various tools and metal stuff to hold down the tar paper walking around on the TOP OF MY HOUSE in a thunderstorm ... complete with lightning!!

I asked my man to out there and talk to those boys about Jesus. 'Cause I did not want someone dying on my roof, especially if they were not gonna go to Heaven!!!

I mentioned power outages around town. These included some of the school district buildings. So school was canceled. NOW, Hattie didn't have school on Monday and yesterday was supposed to be her last day. So I got her up and dressed and had her waiting at the door for the bus. And waiting. And waiting. Then, being the quality parent that we all know I am (not), I checked the TV. Schools closed. Apparently they were closed Monday too, and I was unaware. So, now we get to do it all again tomorrow. 'Cause that is her NEW last day of school.

Here is a preview of Hattie's First Last Day Of School!!!

Waiting patiently


Patience wearing thin


Maybe there is NO SCHOOL!!!!


Seriously, where is that bus?


And, my personal favorite ...



Man, I love that girl!!

Well, we are off to get ready for our day at the beach with our buddies Owen, Mrs. Cheri, and maybe (hopefully) Mrs. Kathy, Evy and Jerzey!!!!

Picture Perfect Monday - Welcome

The sign on the door may SAY welcome ...

... but that does NOT mean that sick little girls are "welcome" to go out side and play (which apparently does not make her too happy)!!!

A Blustery Day

We had a little excitement around here today. First of all, we had church. And it was GOOD! Worship rocked, the sermon was great (GO ANDY!!!) and the girls were in very good spirits. So, we decided to go for lunch and then I was gonna take Hattie for a haircut. So we get to the restaurant and I look at Hattie and she does NOT look good. Now, 15 minutes earlier she was running around the church, playing and being social, but now... I could see it was about to get ugly. We skipped the haircut and came straight home. She walked in the house, passing two bathrooms, the laundry room AND the kitchen, walked over all of the hardwood floor and onto our expensive rug and ... puked. AAAGGGGHHHH!!! I ran her to the bathroom with her "letting loose" the entire way. By the time we got there she spit into the toilet and was done. That's my girl!

I took her temp, and it was 102!!! YIKES! I got her cleaned up and she retired to the couch in her Barbie pj's and snuggled up with her Little Mermaid blankie. (And yes, my little tomboy is discovering the girlie side of life!)

So, there we are quietly watching NASCAR when all of a sudden the Emergency Alert thing goes off on the TV and the warning sirens start going off outside. Now, since living here we have had warnings before - so much that it is really nothing to even get excited about. But this was different. We look out the window and it is going nuts out there! We grab the girls and a bottle for Sophie and we are off to the basement. Now, our basement is unfinished, so it is a mess, but we had a swing and some toys and a TV, so we were good.

Here is a look at how we spent our time:

At first Sophie was a little dismayed at the swiftness of our descent into the basement.

But then we brought out the bucket o' fun ...

... and she was good to go!

My wonderful hubby let his little girl open up a tornado warning beauty shop!!

Then she spent some time trying to asses the possible damage occurring outside.

So, after a few minutes, everything blew over and, it turns out, we did NOT have an actual tornado. We did, however, have some serious wind. Which did do it's share of damage ...




... fortunately, we only lost a few branches off of our trees, a few shingles off of our roof and the flag off of our pole (and, oh yeah, and our pole too!). As far as we know, no one was hurt. Hubby's sis lost some shingles too. There was more damage to a few houses in town and downed power lines etc..., but over all everything is OK.

Thank You. Father God, for Your protection and Your shield. We are truly humbled by Your power and the care that you give us.